Adventures of Deadmau5 and Prof Meowingtons PhD
by Abztract Isight
Summary: This is purely fictional and is not meant to be offensive. It's about the Mau5 head character and his cat. Comments welcome!
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER #1- Mystery of the Phantom Purrari Driver

"Hey Meowingtons do you want to go for a coffee run?" Deadmau5 asked.

"Sure but you're paying, meow", says Prof. Meowingtons PhD.

Deadmau5 rolls his eyes. Every time he goes for a coffee run with his furry buddy always said the same thing, but ended up paying. And Prof. Meowingtons PhD, always wants to go in the Purrari, as if it was built just for him. They get to the garage and notice that the Purrari isn't parked where it's supposed to be.

"Did you loan the Purrari to someone, meow?" Prof. Meowingtons PhD asked.

"No," Deadmau5 said with conviction.

Sniff, sniff, SNIFF.

"What are you sniffing for Meowingtons?" Deadmau5 asked.

"Well when you made me go to the vet last week, I left you a present behind the seat of the Purrari, meow." Prof. Meowingtons PhD replied. He sniffed some more and headed out to the street.

Deadmau5 followed his cat. "That wasn't very nice."

"Neither was the thermometer in my ass, meow. It went this way, meow."

They walked down the street and crossed at the lights. When ZOOOOMMMM, a car screamed past them. It was going so fast, all they could see was was a nyan pop tart cat and it's rainbow fart.

"Hey that's my PURRARI! Someone stole it!" Deadmau5 shouted.

Screeeeccchhhh, went the Purrari's tires as the driver made a quick U-turn and drove past the pair in the street again. This time they could hear the Nyan song blaring from the speakers in the car.

"We need to catch that car, before it kills someone, meow!" Prof. Meowingtons PhD exclaimed.

"Look the Purrari almost killed that dog!" Deadmau5 shouted.

Prof. Meowingtons PhD shrugged, "that's not such a loss, but I want my coffee, let's go, meow."

Deadmau5 picked up the cat and ran for the garage. It was time to get in the meowclaren. "Hold on little buddy, this is going to get crazy!"

Prof. Meowingtons PhD shot Deadmau5 a incredulous look, then rolled his eyes and anchored himself to the seat of the car, with his back claws. Then the chase was on, they got close to the Purrari and saw who the driver was.

"I should've known it was the ladies, meow, " growled Prof. Meowingtons PhD.

"But Ewe can't reach the gas peddle, so that means OMG must be working the gas and brake. But how is Ewe able to see where she's going? And don't say its by her Sphynx magic, Mewoingtons."

"Well I haven't seen Nyan all day, so maybe Ewe is standing oh him, meow. It's the only thing that makes sense, meow."

Deadmau5 was glad the Purrari was heading towards the highway. The way the Purrari was being driven, it was just to dangerous on the Toronto streets.

"I wonder what those ladies offered Nyan to get him to participate," Deadmau5 pondered.

"And where are the cops, meow? Every time you speed in the Purrari they catch you, meow."

"I've got an idea. Can you steer for a minute Meowingtons?" Deadmau5 asked.

"Yes why, meow?"

Deadmau5 didn't wait for an answer and began to work on one of his ears. "Those bad cats won't know what hit them."

Suddenly Deadmau5 threw his right ear at the rear tires of the Purrari, giving it two flats. The ear boomeranged back and Deadmau5 stood on the meowclaren's seat to catch it.

"Dude that was sick, meow!" Prof. Meowingtons PhD said excitedly.

The Purrari slowed down and pulled over onto the shoulder. Once more in control of the steering of the meowclaren, Deadmau5 stopped behind the disabled light blue car. He screwed on his ear again and got out of the white pursuit vehicle. He walked over to the Purrari, hands on hips and looked down at the offending driver.

"Oh those cats are in big trouble now, meow!" Prof. Meowingtons PhD cooed happily. "Treats for me only tonight, meow." He sat back, licking his fur back into place.

Deadmau5 leaned over and took the keys out of the Purrari. "You three are busted and in big trouble. Ewe and OMG, I expect this behaviour from you, but Nyan… I'm so disappointed."

Nyan rustled around behind the front passenger seat and pulled out a cat turd. "At least I didn't soil your car like Meowingtons, meow."

Ewe and OMG nodded their heads in agreement. In unison they hissed, "it ssmellss bad in here, meow. Meowingtonss isss no angel, meow."

Deadmau5 called a tow truck to take the Purrari home. The four cats rode back in the meowclaren with him, all acting like they were innocent. Back in the garage, he looked at them trying to be cute. Then he had an idea. He shook his head negatively.

"Since you all have enjoyed the Purrari, I think you all should clean it. And just to be sure you do a good job, I'll be right here watching."

The four cats stalked around with righteous indignation, until Deadmau5 promised to take them all out for some iced cappuccino drinks on him, from Tim Hortons. The cats purred in satisfaction. The two nudies and the grey, affectionately rubbed up against Prof. Meowingtons PhD. Then when they were cleaning the other side of the car, where Deadmau5 couldn't hear them, they congratulated their friend.

"Brilliantly planned Meowingtons, meow" Nyan praised.

"It worked, Deamau5 finally isss paying for a coffee run, meow. You've earned your title today, meow." The two ladies said.

"That's why I have the PhD, meow." Prof. Meowingtons PhD winked.

Mystery of the phantom driver of the Purrari was solved, but the true mastermind today was Prof. Meowingtons PhD. In the end, the coffee run was completed and all four cats and their Deadmau5 were happy.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER #2 - Mystery Of The Sock Thief

"WTF!" Deadmau5 exclaimed. "Where is my other sock? And my shoe? Why is it I can never find the left pair of anything?"

Nyan looked at him and said dryly, "wearing opposites has become a fashion trend thanks to you, meow."

"Don't just stand there, help me look. You can get under the bed easier than I can!"

She did as he asked. "No one vacuums under here, meow!" She sneezed violently, "you owe me for this…. no socks or shoes under here."

"Meowingtons!" Deadmau5 called and in came the other cat.

"What's up, meow?" Prof. Meowingtons PhD asked.

"Have you seen my white or black socks for my left foot? They are all missing! Same with all my pairs of same coloured shoes. Lately I have to go out in public wearing different coloured shoes on each foot."

"That's a mystery indeed, meow." Prof. Meowingtons PhD walked around the room, sniffing here and there.

"Find anything?" Deadmau5 asked his best buddy.

The black and white feline shook his head, his tail flicking. An ear twitched and he walked into Deadmau5 closet. Just like Nyan he sneezed when sniffing under the bed.

"We need to catch the thief in action, set up some cameras, meow." Prof. Meowingtons PhD showed Deadmau5 the best places to put cameras.

Deadmau5 scratched behind an ear. "You two are always roaming around at night, how about you two earn your keep."

Both Nyan and Prof. Meowingtons PhD looked horrified and offended all at once. "I can't believe you just said that, meow." Nyan said in a hurt tone.

Immediately feeling bad for what he'd said, Deadmau5 picked up Nyan. "I didn't mean for it to sound so bad. I just meant I need both of you to help. Forgive me?"

Both cats sat on his lap, accepting some affectionate chin scratches. Their purring confirmed that he'd been forgiven. It's one thing he loved about them, they were easy to forgive him and rarely held a grudge for long.

"If we work together, we can catch the thief, meow." Nyan said with conviction.

That night, Deadmau5 went to sleep with both cats keeping a watchful eye on his socks and shoes. The cameras showed a red light, meaning they were ready to record everything. It wasn't until the cats fell asleep too, that the thief snuck out. It zipped to the closet and then to the laundry hamper. The thump of a shoe, woke Nyan up and she let out a loud meow, waking everyone.

"What is it Nyan?" Deadmau5 bolted awake, sending Prof. Meowingtons PhD flying off his chest and across the room.

"Meow!" Prof. Meowingtons PhD said in alarmed surprise.

The lights came on, but the thief was gone, having escaped in all the confusion. But Deadmau5 got up and checked the video feed. The two cats following him.

"Nice pyjamas Deadmau5… ghosts, meow?" Nyan giggled.

He looked down at his pjs. "Hey what's wrong with them? It's the Ghost Buster's ghost!"

Nyan gave him a feline grin, "it's better than the pop tart cat Meowingtons, meow!"

"We got something on video, but it's so fast it's a blur." Deadmau5 hung his head in frustration.

Prof. Meowingintons PhD was snooping around to see what was stollen. "You have a red sneaker missing and one blue sock, meow."

Nyan went to look, her tail twitched. "Look at all the dust, meow."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Deadmau5 was puzzled.

Prof. Meowingtons PhD had an idea. "It's a Dust Bunny that's taking your stuff, meow."

Deadmau5 cocked his head to one side, not sure he'd heard the cat correctly. "A dust bunny? That's a pile of dirt, not something real that could steal my stuff."

Now Prof. Meowingtons PhD put a paw on Deadmau5 and said like a teacher, "how do you think it got it's name? Or why a pile of dust is named after a rabbit? They are real. They leave balls of hair and dust behind all the time. They are fast, so fast most can't see them. But normally they don't take anything."

"So why is it stealing from me?" Deadmau5 asked in exasberation.

"Now that is the true mystery, meow. We'll have to trap it, meow."

"Let's kill it for trespassing, meow," Nyan said her eyes glowing with deadly intent.

Deadmau5 objected, "we aren't killing anything. Trap and question, that's it. And maybe relocate."

Later that night, they set a trap with a pile of shoes and socks in a mound. They had coffee to keep them awake, but the room was dark. Only their eyes could be seen in the darkness. Deadmau5 put sunglasses on, so his eyes wouldn't spook the Dust Bunny. The cats were on his dresser, high enough up, that the Dust Bunny wouldn't see their eyes.

Their patient waiting was rewarded, as the trap did it's job. The Dust Bunny let out a terrified squeal and Deadmau5 turned on the lights. His cats showed their fangs and he felt bad for the Dust Bunny.

Prof. Meowingtons PhD. growled, "why are you stealing from us?"

The Dust Bunny trembled in fear, making them all sneeze. So Deadmau5 picked it up, removing it from the trap. It finally spoke, "my family needs it. This place is too clean, I couldn't build a nest to keep my babies warm. So I took a few shoes and socks!"

The cats hid their fangs and looked up at Deadmau5. They had compassion, as did he. "Can you show me your babies?"

The Dust Bunny nodded and hopped to the ground. One glance at the cats and it made sure to move slowly, so they wouldn't give chase and hurt it. Deadmau5 moved a box in the storage room and found the baby Dust Bunnies. They were huddled in the pile of socks, surrounded by shoes.

"I won't hurt you and your family, but you have to stop stealing. Tell me what you need and I'll bring it to you."

In the end the cats showed the Dust Bunny where their sheadded cat fur clumped up. This was exactly what the Dust Bunny needed. The Dust Bunny also promised to relocate to, Deadmau5's tour manager, Dean's house, with some help. Once again the mystery had been solved and in the end Deadmau5 continued to wear the mismatched coloured shoes. He liked that it made him different and not so serious.


	3. Chapter 3

Prof. Meowingtons PhD was in the Purrari, after Deadmau5 came back from a coffee run with Zedd. He was looking for loose change, in hopes he could get a coffee too. But instead the cat found only a pair of sunglasses. They looked interesting and so he took them. Prof. Meowingtons PhD put the glasses on and suddenly two laser beams shot from his eyes. He yowled in surprise and sprung back, as the car across from the Purrari blew up.

"Oh oh, I better take these sunglasses and get out of here, meow!" Prof. Meowingtons PhD said out loud and then ran away, as all the car alarms went off.

As he made it to the elevator, the doors opened and out came Deadmau5, Zedd, Mau5mom and a few other people. Everyone was shocked by the car fire and ran to their cars to move them. The cat, joined Deadmau5 in the Meowclaren. While Zedd took care of the Purrari and Mau5mom moved her car.

"We need to talk Deadmau5, meow!"

"Then talk," Deadmau5 said.

Prof. Meowingtons PhD shook his head, "no you don't understand, meow. I have to show you something, it's really important… life threatening even, meow."

Deadmau5 looked down at his buddy. The cat's tail was flicking with exaggerated movement, so he knew it was serious. "Is it about that car fire? Did you have something to do with that?"

"Maybe, meow." Prof. Meowingtons PhD lower his ears so they were horizontal to his head and he looked up at Deadmau5 with big black sorrow filled eyes.

"Awe dude, don't use those eyes on me! Okay, we'll go for a Tim Horton's coffee." He waived at Zedd in the Purrari to follow them.

"Can we go somewhere more private, meow? Maybe the parking lot where you tested your new helicopter toy thing, meow?"

"After coffee, yes. And why are you being so mysterious Meowingtons?"

"You'll see soon enough, meow."

They pulled into Tim Hortons, got their coffee. Then Deadmau5 sent Zedd to go on ahead and see if it was okay to go back to the underground garage. Deadmau5 then drove to an abandoned parking lot. Confirming they were alone, Prof. Meowingtons PhD got out of the white sports car and put on the sunglasses. Suddenly the tree at the other end of the lot, burst into tiny wood fragments.

"What the heck? Those sunglasses are Laser Hax enabled!" Deadmau5 shouted in surprise. "Where did you get them?"

"I found them in the Purrari, when I was looking for change, meow!"

"What? Let me see them Meowingtons." Deadmau5, tried to wear the sunglasses. "Weird they seem to only fit you. Who would make something that only a cat could wear and why?"

Prof. Meowingtons PhD shrugged. "That's the million dollar question, meow."

"Hmm, who was the last one in the Purrari with me? And where did we go?" Deadmau5 asked rhetorically and scratched his head, then stroked his chin in thought.

"Wasn't Zedd in the Purrari for the coffee run this morning, meow?"

"You're not suggesting that they are Zedd's sunglasses are you?"

Prof. Meowingtons PhD nodded. "Call him and ask if he left them in the car, meow."

Deadmau5 used his cell and asked, "Zedd, hey man did you leave some sunglasses in the Purrari?"

Zedd replied, "nope. And the fire department said it's okay to come back. They can't figure out what happened. I overheard the fire marshal say that it looks like someone blew up the car, based on the blast pattern. But they don't know how or why."

"Okay we're on our way back," Deadmau5 replied. He then shook his head at the cat. "Those glasses are not from Zedd. Promise you won't wear them again, until we know what's going on."

Prof. Meowingtons PhD wiggled his whiskers. "How about I promise not to blow things up, meow."

Deadmau5 rolled his eyes, but he let the cat keep the glasses. They drove back to his condo and parked the car. The Purrari and his mom's car were already there. Zedd was waiting for them and said he had to go. Once back inside, Deadmau5 explained to his mom what they found out. She was shocked, but agreed not to hand over the laser hax sunglasses to authorities.

"What now, meow?" Nyan asked, trying to get her paws on those glasses.

"Maybe we can pull finger prints off of the glasses," Deadmau5 suggested. "Then I'll hack into the Police departments database."

Prof. Meowingtons PhD brought Deadmau5 the forensics kit and watched him dust for prints. They got one full print and put it into the scanner. Once the finger print was in the computer, the hacking began. It didn't take Deadmau5 long to get into the P.D. database. He ran the program that matched finger prints and then they waited for results. The local police had no matches, so he did some keyboard tapping and hacked both provincial and federal police computers. It was at the federal level, that they found a match.

"Says here this guy is some wiz at making lasers for both industrial and military applications. I still don't understand why he made cat laser sunglasses."

"Maybe he's nuts, meow." Nyan said as she licked her paw.

Deadmau5 did another search and found out the guy was listed as criminally insane. "You're right, he is! How are we going to get in the insane asylum to talk to this guy?"

Prof. Meowingtons PhD grinned, "leave that up to the ladies and I, meow."

"Alright, but I'm keeping those Magic sunglasses while you go inside." Deadmau5 watched the cats put their heads together and whisper. He didn't know what they were saying, and probably didn't want to know.

"We need a getaway car, meow." Nyan grinned.

"I'll drive, we'll take the meowclaren." Deadmau5 replied.

They all squished in and headed to the crazy house. By the time they got there, the sun was beginning to set. The cats jumped out.

"Keep the car running, we shouldn't be long, meow."

The cats disappeared around the corner, Deadmau5 tapped his foot impatiently. Just when he lost patience and was going to see where the cats were, they all came running.

"GO! GO! GO!, MEOW!" Nyan shouted.

"Do we have everyone?" Deadmau5 asked tires squealing as he gave gas, but kept a foot on the brake.

"YESss, meow!" Hissed OMG.

They heard sirens go off, but no cars gave chase. The way Deadmau5 was driving, not even air police could've kept up. No one said a word, until he pulled under a bridge and stopped.

"So what did you find out?" Deadmau5 asked curiously.

"The inventor of those magic glasses was trying to train his pet cat to escape the asylum, meow. The cat got away, but the blast radius was not big enough for the man, meow. He said his cat's addicted to Tim Horton's Tim Bits, meow. So he was probably at Timmy's when you went and ditched the glasses in the Purrari, meow. Because everyone knows that only a cat lover would drive that car, meow." The four cats explained, each giving a portion of the story.

Deadmau5 began to drive again, not saying anything. He got the cats some Tim Horton's and as they drove back home he finally spoke. "If it was me, would you help me escape Meowingtons and Nyan or leave me behind like his cat did?"

First Ewe spoke first, "You are being ssssilly, meow."

Then Nyan asked, "would you make us come with you into jail or a place like that, if you were the only one that was nuts, meow?"

"Of course not, you'd stay with mom until I got out." Deadmau5 scratched behind the ears of each cat and rubbed their chins, affectionately.

Prof. Meowingtons PhD finally answered his question. "Yess we would break you out and never leave you behind, meow. We love you, meow." The black and white cat blinked one eye.

Deadmau5 smiled, "I love you guys too. But you're not getting those magic glasses back until we need them."

"Damn, so close, meow."

The case was closed, the secret solved and everyone laughed at Prof. Meowingtons PhD's reply.


	4. Chapter 4

Morning finds Deadmau5 sitting on the couch reading the newspaper, with just the tips of his ears poking out over the top. Prof. Meowingtons PhD sat on the coffee table, on top of the paper, also reading.

"Hyper Goat spotted in the west end, terrorizing cyclists and pedestrians," Deadmau5 read out loud.

"I thought that Goat was in maximum security at the zoo, meow. I wonder how he got out, meow."

"It says here, his tongue got stuck on a helicopter… who writes this shit? Anyway, there's a reward for his capture. Want to rope in that goat, Meowingtons?"

The cat tilted his head to one side, considering. "Can I use my laser Hax sunglasses, if the Hyper Goat tries to kill us, meow?"

Deadmau5 put down the paper and nodded, "only if our lives are in danger."

Prof. Meowingtons PhD suggested, "well even a Hyper Goat has to eat, meow."

"Let me guess, you want to go to Tim Horton's and see if it's there?" Deadmau5 asked sarcastically.

"Now that's a great idea, meow. But after that, let's check with Twitter and see if that damn Goat has attacked grocery stores or is eating up the trees, meow."

The pair of amateur sleuths, took the elevator down to the garage and began their hunt in the meowclaren. To his surprise Prof. Meowingtons PhD paid for the coffees without being asked to do so. Then they went to Deadmau5's friend Twitter. The blue bird was expecting them, having already heard about the Hyper Goat. It tweeted it's news so fast, that Prof. Meowingtons PhD had no idea what it was saying. Deadmau5 nodded his head.

"Thanks Twitter, we'll go check it out," Deadmau5 said. "Come on Meowingtons, the Hyper Goat was spotted by the CN Tower."

They left, tires squeaking as they tore away from the curb. Prof. Meowingtons PhD asked, "how do you even understand Twitter, meow? The tweeting is so fast, it blows my mind, meow."

"Practice, buddy…. Look over there, all those dented cars, the Hyper Goat must have been through this area already."

Deadmau5 swerved, just missing a car, that was speeding away. "It's a one way street, what the hell is that guy doing?"

Prof. Meowingtons PhD sat with his paws on the arm rest and his head above the car door, so he could keep an eye out for the goat. Suddenly he let out a loud "Meow!" He was too excited to say anything else.

Looking in the direction that the cat's ears were pricked, Deadmau5 saw the Hyper Goat. It was on a rampage. They saw a jeep, all it's airbags blown, dents everywhere. The Hyper Goat kept ramming it repeatedly, picking it up with it's tongue and throwing it at other cars.

"That jeep is playing the nyan song, I don't think that crazy goat likes it, meow."

Once the jeep was so battered, the music inside died. Finally the goat moved on. It ate a whole tree and jumped over a bus. Twitter had not exaggerated, the Hyper Goat could do things that normal goats could not. From a safe distance, Deadmau5 and Prof. Meowingtons PhD followed the angry goat with the meowclaren.

"It seems to be looking for something, meow."

As they watched, the Hyper Goat suddenly ran off down an alley, where the car couldn't fit. Prof. Meowingtons PhD leaped out of the car and took off in hot pursuit. Concerned for his friend, Deadmau5 squealed his tires as he reversed and spun the car around to head down a side street.

"Damn it, he forgot the laser Hax sunglasses." Unable to see the cat, Deadmau5 blasted his music from his speakers. Either the goat would give chase or Prof. Meowingtons PhD would hear it and find him. And sure enough the Hyper Goat came around the corner, but it was no longer angry.

"What, what is that? I've gotta know, what, what is that?" The Hyper Goat asked. (It was very slurred, due to it's long tongue, but Deadmau5 was a master of understanding the unusual.)

"That's my music. Do you like it?"

"Like it, like it, like, like." The Hyper Goat replied.

"I'll keep playing it, but can you tell me what you're looking for?" Deadmau5 questioned, trying to buy time for his cat to return.

"Candy, candy… sweet colourful candy, from rainbow, can't find the candy." Hyper Goat stomped his hoof.

"Wait, the candy is the colour of rainbows?"

"Yes, yes, yes, I want to taste the rainbow. Why can't I find the rainbow?"

The goat was getting agitated again, so Deadmau5 stopped his questioning. Prof. Meowingtons PhD had been given enough time to catch up and jumped into the car. Cocking his head, trying to understand what the goat was saying.

Deadmau5 filled him in. "Meowingtons Hyper Goat is looking for Skittles and my music is keeping it from going crazy."

"Wow, meow. Well let's go get the Hyper Goat some candy, meow." He thought a moment and added, "where are we going to find a bucket full of Skittles, meow?"

"The Candy Factory of course!" Then he turned to the Hyper Goat, "hey buddy, think you can keep up with the meowclaren?"

Out came the Goat's tongue and it stuck to the meowclaren. The Goat nodded that it was ready, so Deadmau5 shifted gears and took them on to the highway. He was amazed that the tongue of the Goat didn't get ripped in half, but the Hyper Goat had no problem keeping up. And it remained calm as long as the music played.

"Who knew that your new album _While (12)_ could sooth the crazy out of the Hyper Goat, meow."

"I know, right. Okay, so in the back, the Candy Factory has a shipping container full of Skittles, unpackaged. Use the laser Hax sunglasses and blast the doors. While you watch the goat and keep the music going, I'll notify authorities."

In the end, the Hyper Goat was happy, because it finally got to taste the rainbow. The police handed over the reward for it's capture and Deadmau5 told the zoo how he tamed the crazy goat. From that day forward the Hyper Goat had the album _While (12)_ playing over and over, to keep it calm. The zoo also made sure to include a bag of Skittles every day, in the Goat's food.


End file.
